An email came this afternoon from the facility administrator where my son has lived for four months. She simply asked if I was going to be picking up my son for Christmas. A normal person would have quickly responded back that, yes, indeed, I would be picking him up on this day and dropping him back off on this day. But I am not normal, I now realize.
My response? Way too much thought. Why does she want to know if my son is going home or not over Christmas? Is she trying to schedule staff and needs to know the body count? Is she shopping for gifts? Does she want to make sure he's clean, which he should be anyway?
I do not usually give more than a couple hours notice when I pick up my son to keep overnight, and I give some notice so the nurse has time to pack up meds and feeding supplies. I have been told, repeatedly, that the other kids do not go home... ever. Some are wards of the state, so to speak, in child protective services, and some are too difficult for the parents to take care of. So, why does the administrator want to know? A normal person would just move on and pick up his or her life and run to the goal line, but what does the abnormal person do? She dwells and worries and fails to make decisions.
In the end, I emailed back that I would be picking him up on this day and dropping him off on that day and did not ask why she wanted to know. I filed this trivial event in the "Let it go bin," but the fact that such a bin exists, and is very full, is further proof of my not doing very well with others taking care of my son.
3 comments:
There are no normal people in the world of disability. We all guess, second guess and third guess. We all think catastrophically. We all do what is in the best interest of our children. Being "not normal" is not consistent with being rude. Caring for disabled kids is tough. I have cared for by 26 year old totally disabled son for 13 years (24/7 at home. Rude is not giving those who care for your kid little notice about your plans for him. Group homes cannot function well on a parent's indecision and impulsiveness. Sorry if this is harsh, but I call things as I see or read them.
I'm really glad you've started writing again. Welcome back. :)
I found your blog thru "Single Dad". I just wanted to say that I get it. I think ALL decisions for our kids are tough. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through a day is knowing that...this is my childs life. This is HER plan. She agreed to it before she was born...why she agreed, I dont know. I do the best I can for each situation, and try to let others learn from my child. I get frustrated at stupidity, thoughtlessness and disregard. I glow when others genuinely show their love for my daughter. Thank you for writing. Please keep writing...good and bad. It helps me with perspective. And for the record...no one is as awesome as mom. No one will ever measure up to "her". No one will do things "the right way". :)
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